However, the column was something of a disappointment.

WIZARD painted Darkseid as the winner. Not surprising, since they've always shown themselves to be huge Darkseid marks. The really sad part was the contrived method they used for Darkseid to gain his victory.

For those of you who have not seen the column, or have forgotten the details, here you go:

Born on the Saturn moon Titan, the death-obsessed Thanos used bionic implementation and augmented his powers beyond his already Eternal-level. Annihilating thousands (Including his own mom!), Thanos declared himself ruler of Titan, and exists for one reason--to rack up the death toll for his mistress, the female embodiment of Death.

Moments before his brother absorbed his birthright power called the Omega Force, Uxas--prince of Apokolips--betrayed his sibling by seizing the immense power, seemingly killing him. Now known as Darkseid, Uxas assumed control of Apokolips, launched an ongoing war with the world of New Genesis and continually searches for the source of all sentient life in the cosmos.

tha winnah...While surveying his slave pits, Darkseid's attention is caught by a high-pitched shriek. He turns just in time...to be knocked on his ass by a concentrated blast of white energy. Standing above a charred Darkseid is Thanos, grinning from ear-to-ear. Outraged by Thanos' brash attack, Darkseid unleashes a round of Omega Beams at the Titan, who quickly blocks it with a cosmic shield, redirecting the blast to the surrounding slave pits. Furious, Darkseid pulls out his greatest weapon: his strategic mind. Taking advantage of Thanos' aggression, Darkseid leads his foe to the Firepit Energy Processing Plant. There, he pushes the assault until Thanos unleashes all his cosmic energy, triggering a massive explosion. When the smoke clears, out walks a staggering Darkseid, dragging a defeated Thanos--who is now a pet for his sadistic lackey Desaad...

In this scenario, WIZARD have shown themselves to be the Darkseid marks I have alleged them to be. What are the problems with the above? There are several, and we'll examine them now.

1) Thanos appears and attacks without warning

In fact, in the article itself the attack is described as "brash". Thanos rarely acts in this fashion, because he isn't the brash type. Far from it in fact. Anyone who knows Thanos knows he does not act rashly...instead he's the consummate schemer and plotter, with nearly flawless logic. He didn't reach his goals all those times with rash action, but rather carefully layered plots. Indeed...he would likely have a verbal tete' a tete' with the lord of Apokolips before the fight began, as a conversation with Darkseid could possibly reveal a weakness Thanos could exploit.

2) Thanos attacks Darkseid on Apokolips itself

This would give Darkseid a huge advantage, something Thanos would likely never do. For example, the Saturnian Moon of Titan...Thanos' home...is far less fortified than Apokolips, and Thanos bombarded the planet from orbit before making his move. Thanos would never attack Darkseid on Apokolips without having previously stacked the deck in his favor through some means. This could be anything ranging from a full-out military assault on the planet, to subtle sabotage of the planet's military forces. Thanos would never make a move without first gathering detailed info about Apokolips and its forces. Remember, to Thanos, knowledge IS power.

3) Darkseid out-thinks Thanos, and leads him into a trap

If anyone stands a chance of out-plotting Thanos, its Darkseid. However, he'd never do it with such a blatantly obvious ploy. What's more is the fact that Darkseid is an extremely arrogant being, as has been shown time and again. This oft times shows a certain lack of sophistication, and a tendency towards knee-jerk reactions. Could he out-think Thanos on the fly? Its doubtful, as Thanos is his mental equal at the VERY least.

4) Thanos is overcome by the detonation of the firepit processing plant, while Darkseid isn't

This is the biggest error in the article, and what makes it a complete farce. When has Darkseid shown himself able to weather a conflagration that Thanos could not himself withstand? I cannot recall such an instance.

For Thanos, however, toughness is one of his claims to fame. He's shown himself able to shrug off blows from Thor's hammer, and the ever-lovin' blue-eyed Thing. And that was before his subsequent power-up.

Since his rebirth, he's shown himself to be even tougher... taking full-powered blasts of energy from the Silver Surfer without batting an eye, absorbing punishment and quickly bouncing back against a mad, power-gem empowered Thor, taking blows and blasts from Tyrant, who is close to Galactus-level in terms of power, and also taking a real beating from Odin without succumbing. Fact is, Thanos is just one-tough mother, and he can take tremendous punishment, and still come back for more. There's no way the above detonation could render Thanos insensate.

If we stick to the above scenario, what do I believe the outcome would be?

Easy...here ya go:

"Taking advantage of Thanos' aggression, Darkseid leads his foe to the Firepit Energy Processing Plant. There, he pushes the assault until Thanos unleashes all his cosmic energy, triggering a massive explosion. When the smoke clears..."

...Darkseid is shocked to see Thanos standing and grinning behind a flickering force-bubble, totally un-phased by the explosion. Weakened by the battle, and the force of the detonation, the staggering monarch is unable to withstand the withering assault of Thanos' eyebeams. As Darkseid falls, Thanos takes a brief moment to survey his newest base of operations...Apokolips itself.

...While surveying his slave pits, Darkseid is shaken to his knees by the force of a nearby explosion. He looks up to see swarms of warships swooping low over Apokolips, unleashing waves of explosive force. Darkseid immediately transports himself to his fortress and surveys the situation, quickly finding that Apokolips is besieged by a large fleet of warships in all shapes and sizes, led into the fray by an enormous battleship called "The Sanctuary", which rakes the planet with its earth-shattering energy-blasts, destroying key defense targets with pinpoint accuracy.

Darkseid immediately orders a counterattack, and swarms of Para-Demons take to the air under their own power and in their own ships, bringing the fight to the invaders. But, as Darkseid counter-attacks, he finds the invaders prepared. The air itself shrieks as it is displaced by a powerful transport beam...and the terrifying form of Mangog coalesces inside the war-room. The mighty being immediately lashes out at Kalibak, knocking Darkseid's heir through the wall. As Mangog leaps after Kalibak, more intruders appear. Terrax attacks Steppenwolf, while the Super-Skrull lays Granny-Goodness and her forces low. As his forces fall, Darkseid turns to lend them aid and notices that several monitors now register disturbances in the vast storage chambers holding the powerful X-Element. With a growl, Darkseid transports himself to the main storange chamber, and finds the X-Element stores quite empty, save for dead Para-Demons. Darkseid screams in rage until another shaft of light coalesces into a familiar form.

"Thanos!" exclaims Darkseid.

"Quite." states the Titan matter-of-factly.

"The X-Element...you have taken it! How?" shouts Darkseid, his rage reaching unheard of heights.

"It was simple really..." lectured Thanos "...a few months ago, elite members of my forces disembarked from several cargo vessels visiting this planet. They quickly assimilated themselves into the population, and later into your own forces, after which time their minds were selectively wiped to avoid detection, and they assumed their duties as would any member of your military. A few hours ago, timed devices implanted within them restored their minds, and they immediately made their way into into these storage holds. They quickly dispatched your guards, and disarmed the alarm systems. After that, I ordered the attack, and under its cover the X-Element stores were transported onto my waiting cargo ships."

"You dare too much Titan...do you realize what you have done?" Asked Darkseid...his eyes glowing a firey red.

"Yes. I've robbed you of one of your most precious possessions...and the power source for your greatest weapon." Answered Thanos with the slightest of smiles. "The acquisition of power is a game, Darkseid. And my gambit has put you in check."

Darkseid's voice echoed through the vast, empty chamber.

"No! You have instead sealed your doom mad one!"

With that, Darkseid's eyes flared, and the bright, ruby shafts of the Omega force lanced through the air, aimed directly at Thanos' head.

However, the omega beams merely flayed themselves against Thanos' force-sphere until their energy was spent. Then, Thanos answered the assault with one of his own, launching twin streams of cosmic force at Darkseid, who buckled under their dark power. Pressing his advantage, Thanos closed upon Darkseid attacking him with sledgehammer blows. Darkseid battles back, but finds that Thanos knows how he fights. Soon, Darkseid has weakened further, and Thanos sends him reeling with a powerful energy blast.

As Darkseid staggers back, he pauses and concentrates in an attempt to attack Thanos telepathically. However, he finds Thanos' mental defenses and will-power to be more than up to the challenge. Having failed to overcome Thanos' mind, he rises to his feet once more, and is quickly blasted down to his knees by another withering cosmic blast. Darkseid looks up to see Thanos approach, his fists glowing brightly and surrounded by an emerald nimbus of cosmic energy.

"Checkmate." says Thanos flatly an instant before his glowing fist rockets towards Darkseid's head.

In Darkseid's War-Room, the chaos has been replaced by order as a cadre of Mercenaries completes their takeover of the fortress.

The air is again split by a shaft of blinding light as Thanos appears, with the comatose form of Darkseid at his feet, encased within a shimmering block of pure force.

"Report!" commands the Titan.

One Mercenary steps forward.

"Lord Thanos...local resistance has been neutralized. Para-Demon detachments in the immediate area have been overcome, and Darkseid's lieutenants are either in custody or have fallen during the battle. The planet's remaining military forces should be under our control within the hour."

"Excellent." smiles Thanos, and he looks down at the unmoving Darkseid "Tell our operative that his information proved to be both accurate, and invaluable. As per the bargain, you may deliver Darkseid into his clutches."

"He'll be quite pleased sir." Nods the Mercenary.

"Indeed he shall.." answers Thanos "...for Desaad has long awaited an opportunity to show his master just how deeply he has... enjoyed serving him."

As Thanos' minions cart Darkseid off to Desaad's chambers, Thanos turns to gaze out across the desolate cityscape. He smiles in anticipation.

"A new Universe..." he says silently "...brimming with its own mysteries to be solved, grails to be found, and knowledge to be gleaned. Apokolips shall prove to be an ideal staging ground for my next gambit."

Thanos smiles broadly, and his eyes glow dimly.

"Let this cosmos beware."

How's that? I find it much more to my liking *grin*

That said however I must point out that any decent writer could have either Thanos or Darkseid come out on top and make it plausible. But, I find Thanos to be a superior character, and the point of this was to show you all just how flawed WIZARD's scenario was.

I must also admit that in the "Last Man Standing" feature, WIZARD must quickly describe the setup and the outcome in a very small allotment of space. Usually I find the monthly feature to be entertaining, and it usually serves its purpose well. In this example, I simply believe they fumbled the ball.