Stupidest Movie Characters.

[Vicious]

No, I'm not talking about characters like Jar Jar Binks who are just stupid characters. I'm talking about characters you just want to smack for their lack of basic common sense.

Emperor Palpatine (Return of the Jedi): As if the Ewoks weren't bad enough, the Emperor was embarrassing. HE LITERALLY lost the thing single-handedly. Every time Luke started to get angry and vengeful. Every time he started to turn to the dark side of the force, the big-mouth Emperor would LITERALLY rub his hands together like Snidely Whiplash and say: "That's it, Luke. Turn to the dark side of the force!" At which point, Luke would do a mental double take and remind himself -- visually, on camera -- that turning to the dark side was a bad idea. And it continued like that ad nauseum.

Ariel (The Little Mermaid): I had to sit through this again recently, my cousin's nine-year old daughter as the DVD. I think the Nostalgia Chick said it best: "I sold my soul for a vagina and a man I don't know!"

I have a thing for strong, intelligent women. She could look like Wonder Woman, but unless she has a brain and backbone, I am not the slightest bit interested. So it pains me, in a way, that little girls look up to these vapid female characters (real or fictional), and Ariel is the Paris Hilton of Disney characters.

Anakin Skywalker (The Star Wars prequels): I don't buy this piece of shit as the second most powerful person in the Empire. He was deeply stupid in every aspect of his life. Lucas failed miserably at creating a tragic character.

Lex Luthor (Superman Returns): Okay, so you get out of prison after five years, inherit billions of dollars from a stupid old woman (maybe the prince died and Ariel became a wealthy, old but still vapid widow). Get your hands on advance alien technology. What do you do with it? Do you use it to establish a power base? Build up your own little LexCorp, and pretty much buy the entire city of Metropolis? Boy, that would be a way to get Superman's goat when he came back, wouldn't it? It would be so much harder for him to stop you, and you'd enjoy financial and political power putting you above the law. Nope... you decide to create a continent made of Kryptonite using tech you don't understand, you hire yourself the stupidest henchmen in the world, and you seem to forget that even if you kill Superman, there is a global super power you just pissed off who will nuke you off the planet.

[TheAmazingRando]

Ariel (The Little Mermaid): I had to sit through this again recently, my cousin's nine-year old daughter as the DVD. I think the Nostalgia Chick said it best: "I sold my soul for a vagina and a man I don't know!"

I have a thing for strong, intelligent women. She could look like Wonder Woman, but unless she has a brain and backbone, I am not the slightest bit interested. So it pains me, in a way, that little girls look up to these vapid female characters (real or fictional), and Ariel is the Paris Hilton of Disney characters.

Yeah, most females in Disney movies are useless. They're just looking for a man.

[Navarre]

Harry Potter

His destiny began with someone else's sacrifice, saved by his parent's love, and continued to hold that course nearly throughout the series.

Not particularly intelligent, insightful, or powerful, this boy relied on the talents of others at every turn to ensure his own survival. He wasn't manipulative in this but it served him well.

Dumbledore had to die for him. Ron took constant abuse.

And god knows Harry would have bumbled around like a buffoon and/or died a dozen times over if it wasn't for Hermione Granger.

but, hey, he could ride a broom really well.

[Rob]

Daniel LaRusso.

He deserved every single ass kicking he took. I wish I could join the Cobra kai dojo just so I could participate in one of the many gang beatdowns upon him.

[Rob]

Also, Napoleon Dynamite.

No explanation needed on that one, really.

[Navarre]

Napoleon serves an excellent purpose; he makes us feel better that we aren't him.

Vote for Pedro.

[Pants-less Bard]

Thirded on Ariel. Most Disney females suck, but the entire message of her story is:

"Hey girls, if you want a man, change your shape to one he'll like and shut the fuck up!"

Fredo Corleone (The Godfather part II): Look, I know this guy is supposed to be dumb, but Jesus Christ. C'mon Fredo! You've seen what happens to people that cross him. How can you possibly think it's going to be a good idea. Plus, Hyman Roth wants to find out how to sneak into the Tahoe compound and you don't suspect a hit? The bottom of the lake is the best place for ya man.

[Vicious]

Ariel (The Little Mermaid): I had to sit through this again recently, my cousin's nine-year old daughter as the DVD. I think the Nostalgia Chick said it best: "I sold my soul for a vagina and a man I don't know!"

I have a thing for strong, intelligent women. She could look like Wonder Woman, but unless she has a brain and backbone, I am not the slightest bit interested. So it pains me, in a way, that little girls look up to these vapid female characters (real or fictional), and Ariel is the Paris Hilton of Disney characters.

Yeah, most females in Disney movies are useless. They're just looking for a man.

Am I weird for thinking she's hot?

[Pants-less Bard]

Yes.

[Shadowcat]

*sniffle* *sniffle* Sure, rip apart my favorite movie (The Little Mermaid).

I just like the fact that she's a redhead. I have a thing for redheaded women. I thinks she's the prettiest Disney princess of them all.

And I really kinda love Ursula.

Damn, now I have to break out my DVD.

[Navarre]

Yeah, sorry, can't defend the Disney females. They are all swooning over their man and have to be saved by said man. They need more dignity.

Hermione liked her Victor Crum and all that but you don't see her waiting around for anyone to save her. Maybe Harry should start wearing a dress and hanging out in the top of one of Hogwart's towers waiting for someone to save him.

[devious_vixxen]

the girl from alladin was pretty kick ass.. sorry had to defend the princesses somehow..lol

[Pants-less Bard]

Not really. Jasmine has to be saved in the end as well. In fact, the main messages that our daughters get from these movies are:

1. Your physical beauty and sexuality are your only real asset.
2. Don't worry, if you look good, someone will fix your problems.
3. Women other than the princesses are vindictive bitches.

In order to illustrate this, I've whipped up a helpful chart. Also, please note how much skinnier, bustier and more revealingly dressed the princesses become as time goes by.

[Vicious]

Not really. Jasmine has to be saved in the end as well. In fact, the main messages that our daughters get from these movies are:

1. Your physical beauty and sexuality are your only real asset.
2. Don't worry, if you look good, someone will fix your problems.
3. Women other than the princesses are vindictive bitches.

Elisa Maza has rescued Goliath more times than he's rescued her. Of course, Greg Weisman's fetish for strong female characters nearly rivals Joss Whedon's.

[Navarre]

Disney has been under criticism for some time over their princesses. There have been some changes in recent productions, such as Gargoyles and Pirates of the Caribbean.

But as far as the traditional Disney Princesses go? Bard is dead on.

I know these characters are childhood favorites of many a woman. But it is what it is.

..............................

Gandolf.

Trusting any one person (Frodo) to carry the ring for too long. He's so smart? He should have told Frodo to let Sam carry the ring once in a while.

Sam was just as noble and good. They would have helped each other. Sam wouldn't have let Golem get as far with them as he did either.

But Gandolf was busy. He had to go confide in his most trusted mentor Saruman because he knew Saruman would help him...oh...